I am unlovable and easily forgotten. My presence fades and my voice is unheard. Why do I even leave the house…
She was my bestfriend. I still miss her every now and again. I’ll stop and think about where she is now, some drug wasted wonderland like she always wanted. I’ve heard a couple things about her since I finally just said “fuck you”. I suspect them all to be true. i saw her downtown only acouple months ago and she looked…well she looked dead, strung out and zombified
I wish that she never got sent away…cus she was never the same.
And that kills me.
Cus I remember dancing in her room wasted, getting high on the back porch and eating all her food. I remember making stupid videos of us hanging out, laughing about jokes no one else would get. I remember crying to her, and her listening. I remember bitching about fucking everything and it being okay because she did the same. Staying up all night with nothing to do. Sharing such a profound pain that all we COULD do was share it. Stealing her dads pot and smoking it all tucked away in the closet. Getting in trouble, hating the world for all it has done to us. I remember finally havin someone who fucking got it, and didnt judge me when I fucked up. I miss her…i miss smoking cigarettes and reading books on her tiny ass bed. Playing piano and spending hours getting ready for nothing. Stealing all her clothes and books. I miss everything about our friendship but I know I could never get it back.
I don’t get why she had to change. She threw away a wonderful person who could have gone so far in life. Who loved taking pictures and had this profoundly creative soul. One that could be a COMPLETE bitch but that wasn’t WHO she was. Who didn’t share but wasn’t selfish. She threw that person away and chose to wallow in anger and hate. She chose to trade anything for more drugs. She chose to hurt the people that gave a fuck in exchange for some low life persona. And it kills me, because she was my best friend. And I havnt had a bestfriend since then…but I sure as hell remember what it was like.